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Last updated: May 6th, 2026

Just came back from the hospital after a mild rabies scare, so I figured I should update the world on how I am! Spring has arrived and the heatwave we had over the past few days makes me feel like it's all melting into summer. It's around the last week with the cherry blossoms out, and I'm sad to see them go, but all the loveliest purple flowers are now in full force along the sidewalks and houses. I can't help but take a couple sometimes. I think they secretly like being admired like that.

Got bit by a raccoon last night after feeding it, which is absolutely on me. Birdboy took me to the hospital today when he could and it was good to know he would do that for me. For a little bit, I was really scared. Like, really scared. Like, didn't think there was a chance it could go over smoothly when we showed up. His presence kept me calm and I didn't freak out that much, outwardly, which I was super happy about, though. I always feel like such an embarassing blubbering useless piece of crap when people help me, but he didn't make me feel like I was burdening him and his time. I'm grateful verything is okay. They gave me antibiotics and a TDAP shot and sent me on my way. Funny nurses. Weird smells. Now I'm hungry and I just want to leave school again.

Last update, I was pretty stuck in a depressive episode when I couldn't feel a lot of simple joy in the way I love. Things are much better and different now! I crawled out of the hole by finding new, chill music, and by spending literally every single day with Birdboy going out in the sun and doing a whole hell of a lot of nothing but enjoying each other's company. Things are really starting to settle and come together in a way I've been excited for since I got here in eighth grade. It might have happened very late, yes, but I actually think that may be the case for everyone and we're just not talking about it with anybody. I still get caught up on him, which I'm sure nobody who knows is suprised about, but I've learned to manage it. It's simple and sweet and I'm savouring the moment so I don't think about what else I want.

Most of the time I think I'm making all this tension up but then sometimes I'll catch him peering over at me in my periphery when I'm smiling at the expanse of the dark, foggy road ahead. I notice the way our fingers catch over the head of the clutch. This next one is going to haunt me for sure— he greets me with a song he thinks I'll like, and if not, absolutely hate. I ask him, why do you think I'll hate it? He turns his head and doesn't let on about anything at all.

He knows something about me that I don't and instead of being unnerved, I just keep obessing over if sometimes he's thought about me the same way I'm thinking of him.

I know a secret: he cares a lot more than he shows. It slips out through his chainmail armour like molten gold onto his tail feathers. Just let me lift it off your shoulders so I can crawl into your soft and quiet world. I see you staring into the dark beyond the headlights like you're bubbling up from the inside. I just wish you were staring at me instead.

Maybe that was cringe. I need to get back to my work. Let's all hope I get all my shit done before graduation in a monthh!!!!... See ya!